Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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