like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
