Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
