i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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