my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
