soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
