Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
