If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
23 Annoying things Girls Do When They’re Trying To Be Cute
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
What happened to fro yo and sex?
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.