omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here