Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
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