do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?