I accidentally had phone sex last night
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
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I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
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we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.