dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
