is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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