He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
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Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
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Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
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