I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
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i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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