I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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