He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
So many bounce houses so little time
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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