he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I love you. Go after that dick
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
