I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I think a kid would responsible me up
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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