she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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