love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
