How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
