we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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