Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize