HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
did i walk over a car last night?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
