I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(