Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.