I have demons in me.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
