is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay