Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my being single is dangerous.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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