Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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