she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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