sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
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