shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
