A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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