i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
we made out on top of his cat.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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