hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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