Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
