You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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