Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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