So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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