Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
