he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
