umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.