so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
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i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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