I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
