I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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