how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
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besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
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no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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