Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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