I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize