I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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