Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
