I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
