but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Randomize
