Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
