At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
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You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I had to cum in my sink.
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