I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
