just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I need to calm my uterus...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
