Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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