I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
