Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
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