I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
