Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
