remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
