I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
