According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
