i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
